just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
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btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
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You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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