Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize