Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
