But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
