i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
