I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
