Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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