I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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