I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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