im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
