Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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