It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
