No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
