people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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