So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
