Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
