If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
