Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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