hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
