I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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