That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
