Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
