I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize