Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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