Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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