It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize