it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This baby is an asshole
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
