You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
