Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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