I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
