Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
