I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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