And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
