He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
