Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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