How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?