no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.