i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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