Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
whose parrot is this?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
