i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
