Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
