why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
