he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
