Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
