the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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