I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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