Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
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I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
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I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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