Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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