No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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