so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
