There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
