Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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