my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
