Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
