If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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