your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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