Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
