Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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