I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
