Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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