dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
