covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Randomize
