no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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