Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
